This is a random, rambly post. Please indulge me. 🙂 When I began working as a Renal RD July 2015, I lived differently than I do now. Over the past two years, I have evolved and practice far more intuitive eating, intuitive living, and self care. (This is many thanks to Kylie and Anne!) That said, I still have a long ways to go. We’re all a work in progress. But being employed in the medical field, and specifically in the clinical environment, I have found it a huge struggle to separate what I do day-to-day to what I share here.
If you aren’t familiar with chronic kidney disease, it is a horrible disease. My patients are unable to eat intuitively or even go where ever they please. Everything has to be a calculated step. I look at numbers and labs all the time For instance, if their potassium level is increasing, I have to educate that they limit their potassium intake. Phosphorus is naturally in so many of our foods and is also used as a preservative. The kidneys are primarily responsible for the removal of any excess. Thus, my patients have to limit phosphorus. And fluids. And calcium. The list goes on, trust me.
So how does this conflict with my blog? In this space, I share the meals Matt and I create. I try new foods. I enjoy my food without having to worry about serious consequences, like a high potassium and how that could lead to major cardiac problems. But at work, I’m more or less the food police. I try my best to include intuitive eating concepts when I can, and I counsel against dieting. However, it can only go so far when they cannot even freely enjoy fruits and vegetables. Many are also on a blood thinner, which limits their dark, leafy green intake. I sometimes just feel torn with what I do and what I try to live. Some days, I struggle with trying to leave work at work and not worry about the what ifs or unknowns. To continue living intuitively and listening to my body. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for my job. I work with great people, and I have seen the positive impact I can have on a patient’s life. But is just hard. I apologize if this is depressing or sounds whiney. I love to be open and start conversation on my blog, and this is a topic that came to me this evening.
I’ll close with wishing everyone a great evening and lovely start to their day tomorrow!